Super Mario Bros.


Normally I wouldn’t post so religiously, but due to a couple mixed drinks and bad bought with Mario I’ve decided to share my thoughts on the beloved classic that is Super Mario Bros. 

First off I’d like to mention that I have dusted off my old NES given to me but one of many partners in crime, A! Sauce John McDonell, and popped in my old Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt cartridge and begin my epic journey to beat the title that started it all.

My skills were definitely rusty, but as the avid gamer that I am I quickly began to regain my lost Mario abilities and soar into the sky like a plumber with a racoon tail!  I, as of this evening have finally reached the final castle which will hopefully behold Princess Peach.  Upon regularly reaching this castle I also seem to be regularly dying at this castle…coincidence…?  I doubt it.

Anyhow, I digress, my opinions regarding Mario are not solely concerned with its difficulty, but rather it’s insane concepts and ideas.  Why the hell am I plumber trying to rescue a princess?  If I’m residing within’ a kingdom, presumably the princess’ kingdom. aren’t there more competent royal subjects that could rescue a princess…lets say maybe a knight? 

Also…who the hell thought of the word ‘Goomba’ and the idea to bring a mushroom alive?  Was this said creator on mushrooms, perhaps?  He or she would have to be judging from the numerous other oddities surrounding Super Mario Bros. 

I have so many questions and no God damn answers…I feel as if ‘m watching the beginning “Lost” all over again! 

Cloud-man, as I refer to him, keeps plaguing me with spiked beasts that upon further analysis I believe to be the sick, twisted off-spring of an even greater cloud being and Luigi, and all the while my insanely nimble yet slippery little devil of an Italian man named Mario dodges to and fro as if this is the norm.

I am truly baffled, yet obviously truly addicted.

I’d like to leave the reader with one, two-part question:  Where does this take place, and how do I get there?

A goal I have set for myself is to ultimately learn why the oddities of Mario exists and how they came about…if anyone has got any clue as to how some of these truffles of knowledge slipped through into the gaming world drop me a line and shed some light into my cranium. 

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