David Duchovny


Unfortunately, readers, Hanz has moved out.  After being released from Arkham he stayed with us briefly, but as soon as he found out that we were the ones that sent him off to the asylum, after attacking me and the cat in full battle garb, he decided it was time for us to part ways.  He packed up his little Rambo-style duffle bag with his autographed picture of David Duchovny, his jester cap, and his Orange Lantern, Lantern….wait a minute that’s mine Orange Lantern, Lantern!  Little furry bastard!  Argh, never mind, anyways after packing up his belongings he headed on over to my parents place in the Logan District.

Hanz's Autographed Photo of David Duchovny

It has been over a week since that happened and I haven’t heard a peep out of Hanz since.  He hasn’t written me any letters or even been featured on the news calling my name to pay his current bail.  My Mom has called a couple of times and we’ve chatted like always.  Apparently from what she’s told me Hanz has apparently been quite mischievous.  In less than a week he’s shaved their long-haired Daschund, Fuzzy, flooded the basement several times by clogging the drain with said shaved Daschund hair, and devoured entire crock pots of Chicken Ole’ before it ever even hit the dining room table!  He even hotwired a derelict VW Van and took off down the street before colliding into the neighbor’s trampoline kit sending one child careening over the fence.  Luckily no one saw they incident, so it was kept hush, hush and blamed upon the ‘bad’ neighbors of the block.

Fuzzy after her shaving 'incident' with Hanz

And, even after all of this my parents have begrudgingly still accepted to watch after Hanz.  He’s settled down there lately, and now just drinks cases upon cases of Heineken while watching re-runs of the X-Files and longingly staring at his autographed photo of David.

Well, we’ll see how long Hanz will last on Ermina.  I hate to say it, but I miss my Hanz….

Hanz when he posed for Abercrombie and Fitch in '10
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