Suck that reality. I just surreal lifed your ass, and you didn’t even bat an eye. Stick that in it your eye like Wesley Snipes after eatin’ a rat burger. Ever hear of Aldous? Nah…only Hurley would ever stay fat when Lost. Apparently he found plenty of burgers on the set till Weezer hit him up for a cover shoot. Beverly Hills….please…isn’t that where the fuckin’ hillbillies come from, anyhow? Why’d you want to hit that? Fake hair, fake tits, fake smile…might as well be Sarah Palin’s hometown. Fake all over, not worth a dime, and damn sure to either be eaten be a crazed badger contaminated by the oil soaked debt of an Alaskan publicity whore.
Speaking of which where’s that Lohan…trapped in the jaws of another outraged parent? Cracked and strung out? Teaching sisters how and what not to be? What was it Uncle Ben said? With great power, comes great responsibility. I’m still confused whether he said that after or before he made his rice bowls, but either way Panda’s up late and he’s got Skinemax. So sink your teeth into that blood sausage because those fangs ain’t going to retract them fuckin’ selves. Again, back to tits, may not be fake but they’re still there to tantalize because who else would care besides a True Blood. Sure beats a Crypt, because that Keeper is an old bastard…and trust me he was dirty.